Distressing dealings with the dentist

Monday has been my day off work for the past few months, so the stereotype of it being a bad day usually doesn't hold true.

Not so this week.

Yesterday I had to go to the dentist to get two teeth filled, one on each side and all the way in the back. Top shelf. Things started off as they usually do. The assistant swabs the numbing gel over my gums and a few minutes later the dentist jabs with the needle to put in the novocaine (or whatever the brand du jour is). I feel a little twinge but nothing outrageous. When it comes to pain I'm a wuss, so it doesn't take much for my scale to go from zero to owwwwwwwww.

A few more minutes go by as we wait for the drugs to take effect. I can feel the puffy sensation spread my cheek as the left side starts to go numb. The assistant comes back and asks how I'm feeling. I mention that the left is numbing by the right side still feels normal. She suggests that since the tooth is so far back near the cheek bone that it could be number than I think but I don't notice it. That thought had crossed my mind as well, but I still wasn't convinced. She assured me that if it wasn't numb enough they'd add a little more.

Dentist comes back and fires up the drill. He takes aim at the right-side tooth. I hear the buzz of the drill, feel just the pressure at first, and then ... OMGWTFBBQ! That tooth ain't numb, folks.

So, we take everything out of my mouth, jab me with the needle again (on both sides, just to be sure). Now, though, the dentist decides to try the left side since already I felt numb there. He starts to drill and, yep, I don't feel a thing. He finishes that side, goes off to check on another patient, and the assistant puts in the filling.

After all this time, I still don't feel any different on the right side. But two doses of numbifier have surely sent the tooth into la-la land, yes?

Hah. I don't know where the drugs went, but it sure as heck wasn't into that nerve. Again, the drill starts to bite into the tooth, and again, a jolt of pain goes through my jaw. Stop. Remove dental instruments. As they tilt the chair up, I look at my hand and leg, and they're both shaking. That's something I'd rather not see again anytime soon.

Now the dentist pulls open a drawer and starts thumbing through the assorted vials. I'm going to get quite the drug cocktail this time, he says. Just make it a good one, doc; I'm not sure how much more my nerves can take.

We play the waiting game again, and it isn't too long before the entire roof of my mouth is numb ... but I'm still not confident about the right side, deep in the back. It feels different, yes, but is it enough? We'll find out.

In goes the gauze pad. In goes the suction tube. In goes the plastic prop to hold my mouth open. In goes the drill with all its noisy mischief. And then ... I feel the pressure but not the pain.

FINALLY.

At some point I realized that the drill sounded like an opera singer on fast-forward mode. (Hmm, wonder what all was in that drug cocktail...) I had to find some other thought to distract me before I started cracking up with a drill and clamp and suction hose and whatever else they had managed to squeeze into my mouth.

It isn't too long until they finish the procedure, get me all patched up and ready to check out. And now the other shoe drops.

Because of all the extra drugs they had to pump into my uncooperative system, my bill is about $150 more than I had anticipated.

*sigh*

Mondays suck. #FML